Testimonials

PRAISE FOR LOST & FOUND

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‘Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.' Soren Kierkegaard

“As a trauma therapist, I know that experiencing the anguish of loss and its accompanying grief is grueling enough. Layering a traumatic death into the mix requires a journey through the murkiness of one’s very being. Traumatic grief attacks one’s self-definition in ways that few other life events can, and often requires that you experience distress, isolation and a desperate longing for “what was” as painful first steps.

“Part 1 of Ellen’s memoir provides a candid and insightful roadmap to surviving loss and wading through the initial steps of trauma and grief. In Part 2, Ellen describes her re-awakening and reconciliation processes – including letting go - not of her memories - but rather of her attachment to the past, as well as her courage to imagine and take steps toward a new, joyful life without her beloved husband, John. This book is the very embodiment of Kierkegaard’s thesis of the necessity of both backward reflection and forward movement - a very poignant and inspirational read for those experiencing grief and loss, and for those professionals and loved ones wanting to help them.”

— Stephanie Schneider, MS, LPC

 

“This book is much, much more than a widow memoir. The first part takes you through the touching and painful story of the author’s grief. It is raw and honest - the way a good friend would share. I wished I had kept a journal after my husband died, but Ellen Monsees’s experiences, word choices, descriptions, and feelings so accurately captured what I felt, that I feel like she wrote one for me.

“After completing the Grief Recovery Method® and becoming a practitioner, the author went on to develop her own technique called the PPF Method. In the second part of the book she gently explains how she uses it to assemble the mosaic of her new life by connecting her past, present, and future selves. She shows how you can apply it, too. I immediately tried it out on a job decision I had been debating about for two weeks. In less than 5 minutes I knew the right thing to do and have never looked back. PPF is a powerful tool and it works! I can’t wait to do more.”

— Bonnie Neubauer, widow, and author of The Write-Brain Workbook Revised & Expanded, 400 Exercises to Liberate Your Writing

  • "I had fallen in love with a man who died suddenly overnight. I couldn’t get past that."

    I met Ellen in the winter of 2019, then 2020 happened and I went from teaching little five-year-olds every day to zooming with five-year-olds to isolating. It was horrid. I could have checked into an institution. I didn’t see a point in my life where it would get better.

    The thing that got me through was the 6 weeks we spent dealing with my grief over Levon. I think of Levon every day, but every time I think of him I say goodbye. The idea of saying goodbye to somebody and feeling good about that was life altering. I joined a dating site, which may be the dumbest idea ever, but I feel like I can move into the future.

    Ellen helped me make it out the other end.

    — Ann Suchecki, 65, Potter & Teacher

  • "I just wanted to forget about my grief and move on. I thought there was some switch I could use."

    I was looking for someone I could sit across and talk to. I had tried a couple of group grief sessions and they weren’t for me. I didn’t want to listen to anybody else, I was so filled with grief that I just wanted it to be about me.

    After working with Ellen, I’ve realized that no, grief can’t just be turned off… it’s a process you have to work through. Ellen gave me the tools to do that. I still use those tools, she opened a door for me to allow me to talk.

    I would not hesitate to recommend her.

    — Mary Bostic, Matriarch, Widow

  • "When I came to Ellen I was grieving the loss of my brother and beating myself up for it."

    I wasn’t kind to myself. I used to feel like I was “wasting my life” for grieving. Thinking, “you should be grateful. Why are you spending your time feeling sad? Hurry up and stop feeling sad,” which is just ridiculous. I used to suppress so much to make other people comfortable.

    I’m much more kind to myself now. I let myself feel the emotion of missing someone in the moment and don’t penalize myself for it. I recognize grief that doesn’t involve death because not all grief is about death. You can grieve pain, disappointment, a hope, a dream, or even a person who’s still alive. I’m able to exhale more now. I meditate more and just breathe.

    — L.E., Attorney, 27 Years Married, Mother

 
 

“The Grief Recovery Handbook changed my life, and that’s when I found Ellen.”

I never felt like I belonged in hospice support programs. I was kind of ok, but I wasn’t. Even my therapist was asking “did you get angry?” and I had none of that. 

I worked for years as an advocate after the death of my daughter, going into schools and talking to kids about overdose. Even doing all of that didn’t resolve my grief. I had no idea what to do. I had attended every grief support group available—and they never helped. I had never learned how to grieve.

After working with Ellen, I felt like I could breathe. Like, I could just take a full entire breath and I could stand up straighter. I felt more confident because there was no shame in losing someone to an overdose. I dispelled the stigma many parents in my situation feel.

— Tricia Stouch, Mother, Advocate

Grief is the normal, emotional response to loss.

You can complete the grieving process and move beyond loss.

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“Ellen knows how to help people experience the most challenging time of their life and come out of it feeling better than they ever thought possible.”

— Christine Kloser, Founder, Get Your Book Done® and Love Wraps®

  • "My sister’s husband died suddenly, and I needed to talk to somebody else."

    I didn’t know if I wanted to go through this, bring all of this up, but I wanted to know what else could I do beyond bringing a casserole? She helped me stop looking back and thinking “why couldn’t it be this way?”

    Working with Ellen was an impetus for my life; it made for a better me, a better marriage, a better relationship with my children, my friends. I enjoy people more now. Ellen was a big boost at a very low point in my life. She’s a warm hug. She’s a strong oak tree.

    — Betty Bradley, Matriarch, Widow’s sister

  • "This work was essential to my being able to take the steps I needed to start the next phase of my life."

    I was a couple of years into a relationship with my partner and figuring out if it was what I really wanted. There were some emotional, unresolved issues for me that were holding me back from being able to fully be in the relationship. It had to do with a person I had known before who had passed. I was also dealing with some of the emotional fallout of growing up in a household with an alcoholic.

    Through working with Ellen I’ve learned you can apply the Grief Recovery Method to someone who has passed and that you’re grieving for, but also go through this process for someone who’s still around when you can’t necessarily address things directly with them. You can’t always ask for an apology, and sometimes it feels like you might do more harm by bringing up old injuries. There is value in being able to talk through things with that person, but sometimes you just can’t or don’t want to.

    — Michelle Armour, 34, Massage therapist & Landscape Architect

  • "Ellen accepts people where they’re at."

    I’ve noticed over and over again she holds the acceptance of whatever people are going through without trying to fix it or numb it or make it be different. She’s steadfast, calm, and grounded.

    She has a willingness to go to the vulnerable places and say them out loud. Sometimes sticky things come up and she doesn’t hold them, she shines a light on them. It’s valuable to be seen.

    — Kim Standeven, Founder, Draw in the Magic

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“Ellen gives others permission to shine their light by first doing it herself.”

— MORNA HAIST, Founder, Revolutionary Woman Global

  • "Ellen is an inspiration."

    Journaling is something I’ve always been interested in and never done much about. With the children mostly launched and out of the house it gives me a little more time for introspection, journaling, and thinking about next steps. I love that in your fifties and sixties— and beyond—you can reinvent, do new things, learn new things.

    — Sharon Rutberg, 61, Lawyer & Mother

  • "This is so much more than writing. These workshops create an opportunity for jumping in the deep water. "

    I would describe Ellen as big open arms… stability, calm, and openness. She’s a deep breath for people.

    These workshops create an opportunity for jumping in the deep water, trusting the structure and process to show us what needs to emerge, and natural accountability to what’s important to me—writing.

    As for who’d enjoy this, I think anyone who’s willing to explore feeling all of it, all of what we experience as human.

    — Kim Standeven, Founder, Draw in the Magic

  • "Ellen is great at making others feel good about themselves, feel safe to be themselves—and that’s a huge gift."

    She helps people take a look at their stuff in a different light, and that’s huge too because that’s how you grow.

    —Cyndi, Retired

 
Bianca Hardis
 

“If you’re open to it, Ellen can help you access forgotten parts of yourself.”

The biggest change I’ve seen is allowing myself to feel joy and know that I am worthy of that joy. Ellen helped me narrow down what I found joyful, and I returned to playing the piano. I had found joy doing that as a child and I had put it aside for many years. Giving myself the opportunity to do that and actually just allow myself to feel joy for the sake of doing something that I enjoy - not for any other reason. It’s okay for me to do something that’s just for me strictly because I enjoy it. It doesn’t have to benefit anybody else. It can just be fun. 

My two boys saw a big difference in me actually doing something because I liked it. That wasn’t something they had thought of because it had always been about having a to-do list, checking this off, always getting something done. My husband noticed a hopefulness and lightness in me. We’ve been together a very long time and this was the first time he saw me do something strictly because I enjoyed it. He loved seeing that, I could see it in his face.

Holding onto joy and knowing how to do that has felt like a lifeline in darker periods of life.

— Bianca Hardis, 53, Mother, Current Neuroscience Student

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Experience all of what we feel as human.

Bring your joys back into focus on a daily basis.